I appreciate the fact that I am humble enough to admit that when I swore blind that I was connected to my body, I was not. I was in fact as disconnected as any person can be. I stuffed my body full of foods that caused my belly to turn into a tight drum of excessive wind and caned it repeatedly with punishing exercise, causing it to whimper at the mere thought of going up stairs. I dragged it to night clubs when all it wanted to do was sleep and I fed it poisons to make my legs work mechanically on the dance floor, whilst all the while espousing that I was a person who was deeply connected to their body.
I am deeply appreciative of how honest I can be about what others may see as my short comings. I do not see them as short comings, I see them as changeable and movable consequences of a choice to be less than the love that I am. Temporary personality traits which are made easier to discard when illuminated with the torch of awareness, a torch that has the power to make that which is not true, shrivel in its light.
I appreciate how I have been able to shine the same torch of awareness on so many of the beliefs that I have held deep within my body. Beliefs that have sat like undiagnosed tumours, secretly festering away, reeking untold havoc in my life. Gone is the belief that strenuous exercise leads to physical wellbeing, gone is the belief that the more that I can fit in my day the stronger I am as a woman, gone is the belief that sleeping during the day equates to weakness, gone is the belief that eating three meals a day is always necessary and gone is the belief that men and woman are vastly different species. Letting go of these beliefs has opened up more space inside of me, space that I am now relishing as I can feel that this space is not ‘empty’, no, not at all, it is in fact full of the divine essence of us all, an essence that I am able to unreservedly call God.
And that leads me onto yet more things to appreciate. I appreciate the fact that I can now use the word ‘God’ with such love and openness and that I have found my way back to her. You see I have spent a long time looking for God and have looked in some very strange places, I even explored the world of drugs in the hope that mind altering substances would in some way unlock the secrets to life.
Oh and another thing that I appreciate about myself is my sense of humour. I have always been a very playful person, which has made life a lot of fun, even in my most self-neglectful times. My appreciation of my playful nature naturally leads me to appreciate my parents, both of whom are very playful people. My appreciation for their playful nature opens up an entire book on appreciation for my parents, which in turn leads to a chapter on my sister, which in turn leads to my appreciation for my nieces and nephews and so it goes.
I can feel that as I express appreciation, more and more appreciation is coming through to be expressed and this appreciation is an expansion, an expansion that even when seemingly directed at me, feels like it washes over me and out onto everyone and everything else. As I write I have no sense of bigging myself up, on the contrary I have a feeling that I am confirming The All for what it already is. This then leads me to momentarily ponder on the effect of not being able to show appreciation, either for ourselves or for others. Why do we choose to dismiss our natural brilliance?
Now that I have opened the flood gates of appreciation , I can feel the torrent that is pushing to come through. Let’s not hold back the flood gates anymore, let’s appreciate ourselves and others in full, and in so doing, jubilantly confirm the magnificence